An empty cup of coffee
A bag packed waiting in the trunk of my car
The bill is paid, its time to go.
Wishing there was some way to rewind time.
Singing an old college song in the car
All fake smiles coz we dont wanna cry.

Long drive to the airport

When we all think if there was something forgotten to be said.

A warm hug when i dont want to let you go

Wondering how did all this time fly.

It was just yesterday when we met

And its already time to say goodbye.

Sometimes no matter how little or lot you have

It's never enough to let go.

I should have never let you let me go

It was a fight lost from beginning,
the day we said our fates didn't mean us together
and still kept falling.
When we went our own ways
living parallel lives, wishing for another universe.
In all this drama of losing one another,
Never wondering if this was ment to be ours.
Till someone said: "I should have never let you let me go"

The world keeps hurting us
and we hurt each other in return
To each its own punching bag
Like a never ending food chain.

Then once day when all Love is lost

And hurt is what stays back in memories

Is finally when we lose each other..

Yesterday & Today

An old love-wild and reckless,
when you were young and I was free.
It is the memory I carry along.
The thoughts of shadows walking side by side,
hushed murmurings in hallways
Moments of nothings that meant everything.

The innocence of your face, the carefree smiles
That gives me everything I need to go through my day.
In my mind we live a perfect life.
Without any complications, misunderstandings,
Without any of the troubles life brings for us.

Today when my days are dull and gloomy,
I keep running our past like a never ending tape.
It might have been ages ago,
But sometimes even a long time back
Feels just like yesterday.

I was scared of losing you then, of not seeing you ever again.
Now I am scared of crossing you someday
Just like that where you are nomore the person I knew
And we wonder what to say to each other
You are nomore carefree and happy
And this new person you have become,
takes away a life time of my memory.

Intoxicated

I was numb,
Driving from nowhere to nowhere
Everyone and everything aroud seeming like a haze
Where mind keeps wandering
And I try my best to bring it back

Like being intoxicated and losing control
Wanting to hold onto things still see it slipping past
The music is blaring in my ears but I cant find any words
People are moving but I cant see a face.
Like holding to a thought feels like an illusion.
A dope filling time with nothing.

When i can see, feel, hear
and still dont remember anything happening at that moment.
As if this moment exists but doesnot become a thing of past
when it gets erased the moment its over.

You gotta give them Hope

Tonight I watched 'Milk'.  The movie is about gays, human rights, dreams of a man and a lot more...Towards the end of the movie Harvey Milk says... “It's not about Personal gain, about Ego's or about Powers... It's about the Us's out there. And not just the gays, but the blacks and the Asians and seniors and disabled. The Us's. Without hope the Us's give up and I know you cant live on hope alone but without Hope life is not worth living."

 It makes me think of how a single man’s helplessness lead to a revolution, a movement. Maybe it was inequality for gay’s that he spoke for but his words carried a much deeper meaning. It somewhere questions everything around us that goes wrong which we choose to ignore. Someone who was a nobody just wanted to speak for something that he believed in. And he made an entire country wake up and face an issue that was swept under the carpets for years.

It was not easy as it never is, but what makes me think is how a single man’s determination could unite an entire God fearing nation to accept something like homosexuality. So maybe next time we hear, read or see something that we believe is wrong, be it a child worker, molestation, eve teasing, voting let us give it a few minutes and give it our voice...

It is not within each one of us to start a revolution but definitely we can be man enough to support those who choose to stand up and give a voice to our thoughts and helplessness. Next time let us do something.

Helpless

I was feeling helpless for the first time in my life... Feeling helpless about everything that was happening with me and around me... feeling helpless about being just a spectator in this entire web...

It felt suddenly like coming out of a protected cocoon and steping onto a world which felt pretty around me but where we were all selfishly wrapped in our own needs and luxuries..

I was watching with disgust a few auto walas bullying me just because they were a mob and we were less in numbers, a cop standing and laughing at my friend bleeding on the back seat of my car, disgusted with the fact that I would rather give the a couple of thousands just to avoid running around police stations for something which is their duty..

I am beggining to get tired of this helplessness... of just being one in the thousands who has enough to have a decent life but no sense of accomplishment in anything I am doing. It's not even a year since I have been working and it has already begun to irritate me... Sometimes I get scared whether this irritation will change me as a person...

Till now whenever something goes wrong with me I compare myself with the less fortunate and get on with my life.. But now it does not console me anymore. I always say money or position doesnt matter, but what matters is whether we are happy or not. Now I could not find that happiness around me.. My feelings have changed... I look at myself and I want something more out of myself.. Where my education and capability questions me... I always saw myself as a strong person, but this now haunts me... I can see myself turning into one of those thousands who just work for a living...

I cant see things clearly anymore, but I am still glad, because atleast I am feeling Helpless...